Had A Relapse

I’ve been back at work for a month now, and everything appeared to be going alright. Then I ran into something that caused me to trigger a panic attack.

Pre-Stroke, my work involves speaking to customers and writing documentation. Now the documentation is standardised with boilerplate templates that we plug in the data. It’s very rare that we write a document completely from scratch.

I’d been at the customer’s site and I was pulling lots of data from the Exchange estate. So I was getting a start on the document and the conversation went something like this:

Me: “Is there a template for the Migration Process document?”

Principal Consultant (PC): “No.”

Me: “What do you mean, no?”

PC: “There is no template.”

Me: “Okay, do we have a document that we can get inspiration?”

PC: “Errr, no.”

Me: “Do we have anything to help me write this from scratch?”

PC: “Not really, we don’t usually write them from scratch”

With a lump in my stomach, I began to write the document … or rather, I tried to write the document. I tried to write four times to write the document and each version was worse than the previous one. The more I tried to write it, the more I began to get stressed.

In hindsight I should have stopped and take a break, then I should have called my boss for help. I can be my own worse enemy and I didn’t do myself any favours doing so. I ended up with a panic attack and having a day of work because of it.

Moral of the story: I may have come back to work, but I still have limitations with what I am able to do. I don’t have the same ability to write from scratch, I no longer have the ability to write for hours without taking a break, and I have to tell people when I need help.

Posted in Stroke.

Dancer, Consultant, Husband, Stepfather, Grand-stepfather, Gamer; Gareth is the owner and webmaster of this little corner of the Internet.